Rated R for REAL - Mature Minds, Only //

Good morning,afternoon,evening - wherever you are !

Often times I see our generation giving their most intimate part to people that truly don't deserve any of that. Let's be honest, sex with the right person is simply amazing. Sex with the wrong person may feel amazing, but it just doesn't feel.. "Right". You know what I'm saying? Is this post TMI? I have to speak on this, I just have to because everything is coming together for me and I just want people to think about a couple things(it's 2014, who's a virgin still?)(don't be ashamed girl/boy!!). 

Often.. Actually MORE than often I wish sooooo bad my husband was the man that took my sweet little virginity away. I didn't understand how special it was! I'm going to be honest, I lost it at 15. Was I young or what? What the f- *cough* FRONT DOOR was I thinking? I had no idea what it was suppose to feel/look(let's all laugh now)/be like. I never even watched porn *cringes*. I had so many friends who had already experienced this, I thought I wasn't doing anything wrong. In fact, the person I lost my virginity to was the biggest jerk of jerks. He was hood (FYI, in 2008 it was the thing, hood guys). He was very... "nice with words". Popular. Attractive (not as cute as you, hubby). Experienced. I look back and regret giving that part away of me to someone I never dated nor spoke with shortly after that. I regret it because he set the standards for myself without me knowing it. For the SELECT FEW people who knew about it - word spread around and suddenly I had many guys talking to me because they knew I had been with him.. they figured I was "easy" all of a sudden. I rejected so many people once I realized what they wanted.

It was SO bad, that one guy I actually liked boldly asked me, "Are we going to do anything?" our first time hanging out. (Let's just say he almost got his face chopped off..)(I literally went off on him). I was so upset around this time.. I felt so disgusting, yet carried myself confidently. Then the other half of me felt cool because again, most of my friends were not new to this and sex was just the thing. Even though I quickly gave my precious part to a jackbutt, I wasn't "that girl" people were claiming me to be. No, I wasn't easy. No, I wasn't a whore. No, I didn't just sleep with anyone. I wanted to scream, "Attention: I only had sex because I really liked this guy and apparently I'm a 15 year old naive person, but hey, who isn't?!" . I really liked that jackbutt, and I remember before doing it (I literally cringe thinking about him) I was nervous. During, I didn't know how it was suppose to feel and I felt uncomfortable. It wasn't pleasant, guys! There was even a moment I asked, "Umm.. are you okay?". I WAS THAT CLUELESS. It didn't feel right and anyone after that never felt right. Because sex isn't suppose to feel wrong. You're not suppose to feel guilty, or question the person you let in (no pun intended, gutter mind). NOW, I understand some people just love to have sex with any and everyone, I am not judging you and this has nothing to do with you. This is for the people who really, truly, unintentionally have led themselves in situations with messed up people, who've left them feeling e m p t y.  

all about that 7am toilet selfie life today.. 

I'm writing this to say I understand where you are coming from, honey bun. You aren't a whore. You've slept with 5 people? No you are not a whore. Maybe a nympho... JK! But you are not wrong. NUMBERS do not mean anything(for the most part). The reality is we do things for different reasons. A lot of us find ourselves in situations where we give a part of us because we believe we're going to receive what we want in return, or something more. Or sometimes we just do something because it's just an option to do, and something in your brain is telling you its okay. When I met my husband, I still had no idea how it was suppose to feel like. I didn't know that people could put "emotion" into sex. I thought it was a black and white type thing, no gray area. I had no idea how sacred it was. By that I mean, I never felt safe or trusting with the other person. I never knew you could feel like that. I WAS SO CLUELESS. My husband showed me this side I never experienced.

It was saying, "I Love You." with your body.
Your warmth, your tenderness, comfort. 

I felt emotions pouring out of me. It just felt right. I'm grateful I haven't given many people that part of me for this specific reason. Sex with the right person never feels wrong. You lose yourself, physically because you trust them with your body. It's not black and white. It's not straight to the point. It's special, it's comforting, it's emotional. It's saying I LOVE YOU with your body. You don't get this from everyone.. it doesn't feel so rushed and uncomfortable. You aren't afraid to show all parts of your body, your flaws. Those stretch marks mean nothing, you forget your gut is there, you may have skipped a day of shaving (that moment when you're like, "HOLY CRAP I FORGOT TO SHAVE." and he's like, "IT'S ALL GOOD!" and then you start quoting the bible. *thank you, baby Jesus*) (I'm so weak typing this) and it STILL doesn't matter.. because with the right person, it's okay.

So here's the thing.. stop giving yourself up to people who don't care about you. Stop being vulnerable.. or better yet, stop letting these people prey on you when you're vulnerable. They don't deserve that part of you, honestly. Once you know the difference people can't set the standard for you anymore. You'll set your own standards. It takes living + learning, but if I could go back I'd take a few moments back. This may be more relevant to girls than guys. Maybe I'm creating a double standard? But honestly, think about it.

I just feel good, knowing the person I'm giving my precious little part to is someone I'm in love with, cares about my well being, is careful with me, etc. I can officially give my all and let go during that intimate time - and it feels real. I mean.. forehead kisses then a hefty booty smack during your intimate moments? How sweet is that.. ? Because lets be honest !! Some of you play the role of a porn star or something to hide the fact that you're TRULY uncomfortable with the person you're giving the badooty to :D You pretend you're a freak, but you're really just trying to force something passionate that's not really there. But that's none of my business… (where's my tea??)(extra sugar, please)(no tea, no shade.. ) . It feels good to feel intimately honest. IT also shows how much love and respect you have for yourself.

I could go on and on, love. But I'm just going to stop and say if you're giving your precious badooty away, STOP. Save it for someone who will love you and your badooty for what you are. Someone who wants to stop and kiss your forehead, tell you they love you and then give you a hefty booty smack (that awkward moment when you're like, "dang, that actually really hurt!"). Ya'll know what I'm talking about.. don't be childish. But find that person !! Bring emotion to your sex life. It SHOULD mean something. It's special. It's sacred. OKAY?! I'm sharing this with you, because I care and I want you to experience the best of the best.. So take care of yourself, and don't give that BADOOTY away to just anyone! Hormones are just hormones, emotions are different. End the hurt, protect yourself. OKAY?! okay.

I'm out, enjoy your day.. hopefully this post didn't OFFEND anyone *sarcasm**no seriously, idc* 

P.S Don't be a whore, masturbate.

love you guys, xoxo