anxiety.. and all the above.

The days where you feel like you're drowning are the worst. As if life is literally placing a blanket over your head, tying you up and throwing you in a deep pool of water. You can't see, and you slowly start to believe that this is it. You contemplate giving up. Then you actually give up for 1-2 minutes, accepting your so called "fate". But then there's a spark in your mind that won't let you completely give up. And now, you want to come up to surface more than ever. You want to see the sun again, you want to show people you didn't let it defeat you.

That's how anxiety feels for me most days. I have this unnatural sense of worry and the feeling of being overwhelmed makes whatever is going on even MORE overwhelming. Then my heart begins to race, a slight dizziness takes over my head as I'm trying to make sense of how I'm feeling and why I'm allowing myself to become "defeated". Every sound, flicker of light, touch, bothers me when I'm in one of those moments.. and it completely sucks. The sad thing is I remember as a teenager feeling free. I remember that feeling, and I wish I never took it for granted. I want to feel free from my own brain, the mind is so powerful.. I miss worrying without really.. "worrying". I miss having tons of things to do and completing them on my own terms and still meeting deadlines. I miss being happy for no apparent reason, I felt invincible. 

Then of course life took it's course, and events happened - and here I am. Does anyone else battle with this? It sucks feeling alone, but then analyzing other mothers and I realize I'm to that much different. When you have 2 or more kids at your feet doing the most annoying thing possible at that very moment and you know they're not doing anything wrong they're just being kids - but your heart is racing and dinner is burning in the oven because you forgot you were even cooking dinner.. *gasp* yea..

The only way to overcome any of this is with love and patience (cliche). Sometimes in order to overcome these moments (on the occasions where I can actually regain my control over my thoughts) is to block out those negative thoughts. Block out the expectations, and the list of things your brain is formulating in your head. And just do the damn thing. When your kids are fighting over a toy they haven't picked up in months and you're to exhausted to discipline - LET THEM HASH IT OUT. Pick your battles, because you can not control everything (my issue). Sibling rivalry is normal, and sure it hurts to see the oldest one not sharing when he/she knows better - but then it hurts even more to see the little one being a total brat and crying SO loudly (youngest child probs). Try and think about how you felt when you had cat fights with your siblings. Mom and dad weren't there to break it up and choose a child to hand over the toy. A lot of the times those situations end up being unfair because our backs are turned and we didn't see what happened. IGNORE IT. 

However.. if a little one is just standing in the kitchen while you cook, not bothering you but opening cabinets.. JUST LET EM'. 9/10 just being around you is enough and the cabinets are quite interesting (those really open and close?! yay!).. If it's not effecting your dinner or hurting anyone, why not ? Of course you can always throw the baby gate up but sometimes, it's okay to LET IT GO and let them have at it.. This is hard for me because I used to discipline for everything that I would not tolerate. But sometimes.. you have to realize that they'll never be under your feet again. So embrace it. And fuck disciplining all the time.. it causes chaos. And fighting every battle.. well, you'll end up killing yourself. So when it comes to that, I discipline for the serious stuff. Anything else is just worth talking about or removing them from the problem itself. 

I'm not perfect, but I know in order to love my life I have to embrace everything that comes with it. The good, the bad and the ugly .. And it gets ugly. But there's much more beauty in the chaos than we can see at the moment. I try to remember I can not control everything and everyone. For some reason being in control gives me a sense of accomplishment. So.. this is just a short entry.. my present feelings have compelled me to write a snippet. This post will surely be continued for the people who can relate and need to know that they are normal, sane, and I'm just here to be a relatable source. 

Well, off to make the kids lunch :)

And as opposed to making an ultra healthy, pinterest worthy lunch - they are having MAC AND CHEESE (kraft, not even homemade) and a fruit cup ! Also a piece of their hard earned Halloween candy. Fuck rules today, I'm a tired mommy and I just want to make them happy. (Gotta do what you gotta do, mama) (Instagram that!) Nothing beats hearing, "I love you, mommy", even if it's after you give them skittles. Those words will never get old.. 

Love you, Ris

++

It’s hard battling a deep sadness you can’t brush to the side, or wash away with water. Constantly fighting with a part of your brain that convinces you that you are not worthy, something is wrong when everything feels right, and that you don’t deserve happiness. Waking up with an anxious feeling because you don’t have it all together, or there’s something else that must be done before you get your rest..

Feeling nauseous, randomly throughout the day. Obtaining a headache that just won’t let up.. And you try your hardest to avoid pain relievers. Feeling like a horrible person because while you’re smiling at your audience, you’re dying inside and you can’t figure out.. W h y. Why? Why me ? Why must I be so odd that I feel this way?

In the midst of that darkness is happiness.. There are reasons to be happy and forget about that anxious feeling your experiencing. At this time, listen to your heart. When it says, “I love my life but….” - take the “but” out and listen to your heart. Leave it at, “I love my life” and ignore any excuse or reason as to why you wouldn’t. Listen to your heart I’m your darkness. Your mind is usually the one telling you the reality of your situation. Your heart tells you about the things you love. The things you have passion for but to lazy to do. Your brain will tell you “this sucks” But your heart will tell you why it doesn’t. It’ll tell you that how you’re feeling is wrong and it deserves to feel warmth and happiness again.

Listen to your heart when you feel the feeling of depression creeping up on you, making you not want to get out of bed. Listen to your heart when it tells you to get up, make some coffee because you deserve it and turn on your favorite tv show..
Listen to your heart, for once. For yourself. For your sanity.

I have so much to blog about I don't even know where to begin !!

woah.

I know people, well.. those who care to read my my blog or have read it before are wondering where the hell I've been. I've asked myself that, actually. Life - honestly. I completely invested myself into my youtube page, and then slowly migrated to just enjoying my life. Because as you know, bloggers don't have lives - apparently ;) But no seriously, life has just taken over me.

So many things have happened.
I'll talk about them all, one post each, every emotion and event I've went through.
I'm so sorry for neglecting you, readers. All I need is love and support and I miss having that !
<3

Easy Jello Parfaits For Valentine's Day! | BlissWithRis

Two In One? VLOG #9 | BlissWithRis

Missing You !!

Hola, peeps !!!!

Are you still coming to blog to check if I've posted anything new? I've been so busy, loves. With life, love, my boys, and other things that you will find out about as I get back into this. It's hard being consistent because I get distracted and discouraged. At times I wonder, why am I exposing my life? Then the other half of me loves hearing that people can relate to me!

Anyways, I'm suppose to be getting a new blogging camera soon (thank you, Hubby wubby). Any suggestions? I'm currently stuck on getting the sony a5000, it has a retractable lens & a view finder which is awesome. I need a new camera because I hate vlogging on my phone and my canon is way to huge to carry around with me in public without getting stared at !

So there's going to be some great things coming soon… I moved ! I can't wait to give you guys a little tour, it's a lot of things I'm excited for you guys to view this year of my family & I. So please just bare with me loves.

<3

Quadron - Pressure (Live)

I wish I could be in this room while she sang this, so beautiful. Such a beautiful soul, with a  beautiful voice. I listen to this every day, enjoy this ! xoxo

Exhausted & Pushing Myself

I just finished the best 'sundae' I've ever had in my life (well.. recently at least). 

Chocolate and vanilla ice cream, with sweet, rich + creamy caramel drizzled on top..

I also enjoyed it by myself.

No whining, begging for what mommy has, holding a baby in my arm while I attempt to eat - just pure silence and thoughts for once.

I've been so bombarded with a lot of errands and tasks lately. I'm still situating my things with school, I had re-enroll my classes, I also have to go up to the school and speak to an advisor because my financial aid requires one more thing before it can fully process. On top of that, I'm feeling incredibly nauseous and tired - which leads to me feeling very overwhelmed. 

I've been struggling with balancing my children also. At times I find I am showing Jonas much more attention than Adrian. However, the attention I show Adrian (hugs and kisses) isn't the attention he really "wants". He'd rather me play cars for 75 hours straight OR read (and by reading, I mean skipping to all his favorite pages) an ancient version of Curious George I've had since I was his age. I'm also struggling with Jonas because he constantly needs me around. The slight disappearance of me is a breakdown, a cry for mommy. Since I hadn't had a baby surrounding me in two years, I instantly grew attached to… being 'attached' to him. We've been co-sleeping after he wakes up the first time in the night to eat. I find it difficult (or maybe I'm just tired) to put him back to sleep in his crib when he wakes up to eat. Which makes me feel guilty for cuddling his chunky self, with my two year old fast asleep in his room (although he's never co-slept and sleeps so well on his own. he's very adaptable). 

It's becoming more and more clear that mommy hood is full of guilt. I never had this guilt when it was just Adrian. I felt on top of the world, I felt like I was the best at what I did - I felt like everything he needed. We would go places one on one, sleep together during naps, I was always eye level with him. I rarely had to discipline him, he had nothing but himself and I had nothing but him.

I don't know why I'm being so hard on myself, because although I feel this way - he may not. He's so much more independent than he's ever been. 

I realized that my goal is to be the perfect mother, forgetting that is unrealistic and not every child is the same. Tv isn't bad. A cookie to get some quietness.. isn't bad. Not potty training consistently because my hands are full with life ending with me changing two diapers.. isn't bad. Sending my toddler to his room because he can't keep himself from poking his brother.. isn't bad. Ignoring my four months old cry for touch so I can crawl like a tiger with my toddler on my back.. isn't bad. Eating chick fil a for dinner because I forgot to take out frozen chicken wings.. isn't bad. Purposely letting the kids get tired so they can sleep at an earlier time so I can have 'adult time' *wink wink* with my husband.. ISN'T BAD!!

I'm trying to convince myself that I do not have to tend to my children 24/7. It's okay to breathe and let them be independent. It's okay for them to just relax by themselves without being stimulated constantly. Because lets face it, even adults can't be stimulated constantly. I want my kids to know when to play, and when to relax and have their own time to think and imagine. They don't always have to be up each other's butts. I want everyone to learn how to treat themselves independently.

It's just very hard when you see these blogs of mothers who seem perfect. Reading to little Henry every night before bed. When in reality, they only read the book and took a picture with their fancy camera for that one posts. Or "cooking with their kids" imagining they're having fun, and at the end of their photo shoot scurry the kids out because they were actually making a huge mess and you're afraid it'll get worse. And even if they really ARE that way, why compare ?!

I have a very bad habit in comparing myself to things that appear perfect. Ahh… such as white couches and decor in a house full of kids under 5.

ANYWAYS CHEERS TO MY ICE CREAM.

NOW THAT IVE GOTTEN WAY OFF TOPIC AND SOMEWHAT DEPRESSING.

I'm not depressed though guys, just exhausted and in need of a real sleep that doesn't consists of waking up in the middle night to make a bottle for a starving chunky baby. I'm happy with my life and even though it's QUITE hectic right now I wouldn't change it.. (I lied, I totally would change it so all the hectic stuff was taken care of). I just had a minor vent. I'm a woman.. and a mom, what do you expect? Anyways.. think I'm going to make a second cup of ice cream after 9 when the kids are sleeping. Thank you for reading my vent if you did, and if you understand me - thank you & I love you oh so much. Yes you, you right there. 

XOXO

01142015

I am feeling so blessed and grateful..

If the world wasn't so judgmental, I would tell everyone in sight - but I'll keep this one to myself.

Update

*Sigh*

Being stressed is such an understatement right now. I feel like I run to my blog when I really don't want to physically speak about the negative things - because ultimately I want to stay positive. I just like venting, ha.

Anyways, don't you hate when you're trying to get something accomplished and it seems like every time you get good news or something good happens there's always that ONE thing that comes around randomly to try and knock you down. That always happens to me. I feel like a producer of bad luck sometimes.

On top of applying for school and every annoying thing that comes with that so I can start the spring semester, we're also trying to get out of our present place and move closer to my parents - which is where I wanted to by all along (safe neighborhood, duh).

Anyways, I feel like life is full of a bunch of unprofessional people. People that just show up to get a paycheck and count the hours when they can finally leave. Not putting effort or care into their work. Making their job a routine, not creating relationships, just strictly business. Making work - just work. Getting nothing out of it. Even making someone's day seems irrelevant to these people. I hate staying up on something dealing with business more than the person that's suppose to be professional. I shouldn't have to remind you, or correct you. Sure, everyone makes mistakes and work gets overloaded - but this isn't rocket science. Simple communication is all I ask for. If someone is having trouble and can't get to me in time, it doesn't phase me as long as they acknowledge it - they can take their precious time and I'll be fine with that. But if someone is getting an attitude, making me feel like a burden, rushing me out because they are overwhelmed with work, I have no sympathy. Just let me know you're busy, bitch. Be real and get real human empathy.

I'm one of those customers that likes to empathize and make someone smile. But the second I feel like people's emotions get involved with their work - I lose patience. It takes 5 seconds to communicate example, "I'm sorry about the wait," or "I'm sorry I've been so busy with other files, etc" OR, "I'm sorry I haven't kept in touch, it'll only be a few more days, etc"

Easy.

ANYWAYS - the people at my present place are trying to get some extra money out of us (they think they're slick) every since I put in our 30 day notice. So that's one thing.. and the people at the place I'm trying to go to isn't keeping in touch with me as they should. I've been the one communicating with them, and once I call that's when they actually do what they told me they were going to do. So I'm probably going to have to go through the manager to make sure everything is squared away.

ON A POSITIVE NOTE: I am not sweating it. This is merely just a vent. I am highly appreciative of certain events that WILL take place (they better, lol). I overlook things like this to stay focused on the important thing. I am praying everything gets handled and the impatient side of me is trying it's bet to stop rushing things and just let them happen. I am PRAYING, so pray with me *bow your head* *NOW* *please lawwwwd pleaseeeeee* *amen*

So I'm hoping we can move in this place by Saturday (Domo is off and he wants to move everything that same day). I'm praying it all gets situated tomorrow so I'll have time to call to transfer the power & cable, etc. I also hope I can have school situated before the 12th, because that's when the semester starts. I just hope I get everything right, I'm so nervous with everything that's going on. I feel so... DISORGANIZED and for an OCD person like me it's the worst annoyance ever. I want things to get through this phase so I won't have times where I get annoyed trying to straighten things out and I end up having an attitude with Adrian, or wanting the days to go by faster. IT's really annoying :( So let's hope & stay postive fo' me !!

 

xoxo

New Years (eve) | 2015 !!!

We spent our New Years Eve getting Panda Express (WHICH we got for free because I backed my car up in the drive thru before they were about to close and asked for a refund because we waited forever just for them to get our order wrong and it wasn't even a lot of food) and Taco Bell - hubby and I were seriously craving crunch wraps for some reason. After eating Adrian and daddy took a cat nap and I woke them up like an hour before the ball dropped. My husband was SO tired. Which is understandable.. he had been at work since 8am that morning.

ANYWAYS! My New Year was great :) I wouldn't have had it any other way than enjoying it with family. My boys and I. I am thankful to make it through this year, it's behind us. I won't be like other people and present the negative, there was A LOT of good things that happened in 2014. I will miss it somewhat. We prevailed  lot that year, I'm impressed haha. I'm just grateful.. we made it through so many bad things, the struggling, etc. I am so happy. This year will be great. We promised each other that, and it just felt good to bring in another year with a new little baby, a bigger baby, and my best friend. There's some things that I'm leaving in 2014. Any drama in 2014 is left in 2014, including the people who didn't make it right after I made an effort to. I'm focusing on the good things this year, with or without crappy people. I want my family to have the best and I want us to wake up every day thankful and LAUGHING. <3

Growth // Love

It's weird to bring a new person into the world and being unsure of how they will adapt to their new life. After being in my warm tummy for so long, it's actually quite scary when it's time for the baby to come out! I was nervous of how Adrian would treat the baby. Would he be to rough? Would he hate the baby? I literally was afraid of him hating his little brother and becoming VERY jealous. It was scary. No one understands the anxiety you have unless your bringing a new little one to your first baby.

I am so thankful.

I love when Adrian wakes up he opens his door, comes into our room, walks up to me (Jonas is usually in my arms by the morning), and says, "HEY JOJO!" then proceeds to give me kisses and hugs. He'll bring Jonas some cars and attempt to lay on his belly (which I have to tell him several times he's to heavy). He always includes Jonas in a variety of things. He tells Jonas his accomplishments. "I'm TWO Jojo,""I ate it all, JOJO!" and, "I pee pee, JOJO". I am so proud of how well he has adapted to his little brother as well. Giving him kisses and asking to cuddle him. He runs to him and puts his pacifier in his mouth when Jonas is having a fit (and other times just sits and watch him cry, or sit next to him while he cries haha).

It's not always pretty.

In a perfect world, things would be tantrum free 24/7, but that's unrealistic - of course. Adrian isn't the "perfect little two year old" people may assume he is based upon the pictures I post. He has his moments where he gets so upset he will throw whatever is in his sight just to get attention if I'm busy with Jojo. It gets frustrating because I think as mothers we forget our perfect little boys are maturing within their feelings. How can you punish him for just displaying how he feels? How else can he show it? He can't really express it with words. Most of the time I'll tell him to pick up whatever he's thrown and sit next to me. Other times I'm so stressed I have to discipline him with time out, a pop on the hand, or a strong lecture. everyone's parenting is different but at the end of the day it has to be with love. Even after punishing him, I don't stay upset with him all day, he's my world. When I'm done doing what I'm doing, I tend to his needs. A lot of the times that involves sitting down and playing with him or……. letting him have some cookies ;) Sometimes instead of anger he lets out sadness and asked for me to hold him while I'm changing Jonas, or consoling Jonas after suctioning snot out his nose (babies HATE it!). Either way, whatever you do - do it with love. Having a new sibling isn't easy when you've been an only child for so long.

I was born into having two sisters and a brother already. So I never knew what it was like to be an only child. I was used to having to share, hand-me-downs, etc. I don't want to assume, but I know having only child syndrome obviously won't effect Jonas. He's born into a family with a brother already. So I'm praying he doesn't have to much rivalry with his older brother. I'm alas praying that I can give them my love equally and always be "fair". I don't want my kids to think I have favorites. I honestly don't have one I would choose over another. If someone asked me to choose between them, I wouldn't. I just wouldn't have them both because they both are absolutely amazing/precious to me in their own unique way.

But enough of that rant.. I'm just writing because I'm impressed at how well life chose which baby to place in my tummy to make our family even more complete (now all we're missing is a sister). I mean what if Jojo wasn't Jojo ?!?! What if he was a Fred?! Or a Patty?! Like who the hell knows… I'm just in love with what he brings to our family. I don't know his personality just yet since he's still a baby, but boy I love what I see! Even when he get's upset, he's still cute.. 

xoxo

Life Happens

My husband has been going through a lot lately. It's put a strain on us in certain moments. You don't know the true meaning of marriage until you experience pain within it. How you deal with the situations life throws at you, or him/her, or you two as a whole determines how strong your marriage really is. We are young and still learning. I'm still learning a lot, and it's really a journey. It's not easy. I hate seeing people so anxious to marry just for the title. It's work, and it's a job - 365 days a year as my brother in law would say.

When he hurts, I hurt.

I can't describe how bad it feels to witness hurt or pain in his face. He is my best friend before anything, so it's to the point where I'm ready to pounce on anyone that hurts or upsets him. He doesn't show that kind of emotion. Out of the five years of just merely being in each other's lives, he's always blocked things out. He is need a victim, or pathetic being. He picks himself up. This is how he's dealing with his situation. And as his wife.. I just have to help/protect him through what he's going through.

I have cried a lot. Even in his arms, and I love knowing that I can be there for him. I love being the shoulder he can lean on. It helps me to cope. Wether he's having a bad day, etc.. it helps me be more understanding towards him. We don't really argue, fuss and fight. It's hard when little things start to come up, or when one person just blows something out of proportion. I'm just thankful that it's with him. I'm thankful I can be there at his worst and best, vice versa. It makes you appreciate the people you have around you. 

Marriage is work. But at the end of the day, it's worth it. When one is going through something, you have to get through it together. I am in love with this commitment to one being. 

Dedicated To My One & Only

The chemistry between us is something I really can not put my finger on..

I am so drawn and attracted to your demeanor.. your outlook on life, the way you look tame when I do something silly or gross. I am so in love with your smile, the way cologne smells on you - only you. I love how you overlook everyone else's mistreating of you.. you still smile when you don't have a reason to. You find happiness in the most simplest of things. I love how you treat me. You have made me a stronger person.. I don't have to be a victim anymore. I love how you touch me. Your hands are so big, and you cherish each part of my body. Each and every little line resembling the birth of a child. Every little dent on my upper thighs. My fragile wrist. My skinny frame. You cherish it, you make me feel like someone on TV. I don't feel flawed when I'm with you. You sweat for me, I sweat for you.

When we argue it's like a tornado. Trying to rip everything in sight to shreds.. or trying to scoop everything in one big pile to keep it close? You are my calm, after the storm. It's so strange that after five years, you know me more than people who have known me my whole life. I understand you so well. You compliment my personality, you are my better other half. You make me the good person I've always wanted to be but never had the courage to act upon.

I can breathe better when I'm with you, things aren't as cloudy.
I love the sound of your laugh. I love when you push my hair out my face and kiss my forehead.
Or when you pull my chin up to kiss you.
When you ask me questions while we're underneath the covers giving our bodies to each other.
When you speak to me with your body, you never have to really say a word - I just know.

I am so happy you asked me to be yours forever. I am so grateful you helped me grow as a person, and took my out of being so unhappy with myself. I appreciate the beautiful children we have together. I'm so thankful they can be the few children to say they have the same mother and father, who are still very much in love. It's odd to say, but I don't think it'll ever fade. You aren't my lover, you are the ultimate best friend. The best friend I have with unlimited sleep overs, and knows all my secrets. What are secrets anyways? I forgot.. because you know everything.

You are my better other half. You are the best thing that has ever happened to our kids & I.

You are an amazing person.

xoxo

Fart Blasters & More Shopping ?!

Ohhhh heyyyyy ;) My newest vlog can be found here: VLOG #6

Oh! & Watch this vlog in 720HD 

BlissWithRis's Youtube Channel

This has to be one of my favorite & funniest vlogs.. Domo literally lied to the lady at Burger King and told her it was his first time there just so she could make sure his, I quote, "Experience is great". Ugh… he's so SLOW! I love that man… Anyways - Happy Holidays, beauty. <3

AH! Late as Hell.

Hey My Lovie's !!

Oh my gosh you guys.. have I been neglecting my blog? I've literally been on this Youtube tip, editing & filming that I haven't had time to really write. I'm the type of writer who has to write from inspiration though.. I have to have SOMETHING to write about. I can't just write to write. I hate when I can't find the right words to say.. But how have you guys been? How is life treating you? Seriously, life is crazy as hell.. I realized so much lately and I just want to share it with you guys..

I realized how many good people I have in my life. It's only a handful but I'm perfectly fine with that. The friends I keep around are literally friends I've had since high school. We don't speak much, but I truly appreciate them. I think about all the times we don't speak, but I understand we all have busy lives. I'm so grateful for them though. I'll never forget how they've let me live with them, bought things for my children, took care of me and paid for my food! All that good stuff.. I'm truly thankful for them for still being there for me after all these years. I'm also grateful that I don't have to speak to them every day just to show that we're friends. It's so comforting.

I also am focusing on being a better sister, mother, daughter & wife.

I've been calling my sister frequently just to talk. She doesn't annoy me like in the past. I would hate when she would call me, and growing up I realized how stupid that was. Especially as much as she does for me, it feels good hearing her voice. I love her so much and I love seeing her, she's my best friends basically. 

I am so in love with my kids. I've gotten better with my patience and instead of yelling when I'm upset, or thinking irrationally - I love. I hug when I want to cry. I kiss cheeks when I want to cry. I laugh when I feel overwhelmed. I just love them so much, they are incredible and make me who I am. They've given me a full time job with multiple rewards. A lifetime of unpredictable events. I love serving quality, healthy meals and seeing Adrian clean his plate with a huge smile. Giving Jonas a warm bottle when he wakes up from a nap with puffy eyes and fat cheeks, embracing his warmth. My boys are awesome.. I feel good knowing I put Love before everything. I feel good being their safe place. I feel good when my son calls for me when he's worried, needs something, etc. It feels so good to be "there". To be a dependable mother. Nuturing, caring, there for them no matter what. It feels good to clean a poopie diaper and have a little one laugh at you like, "sorry mom". I am not trading this time, or position for the world. Everything in this world revolves around them. I've done a great job by cutting off people who don't include my kids in their life as well. Don't need my kids around? I don't need you around :)

I've been seeing my Dad more than ever before. It's easier for me to go see him and speak with him about things I've never thought about talking about before. It feels good to be on good terms again. It feels good to know he views me as an adult, not as a child anymore. I respect him for his skills as a Father and a real genuine person in general for dealing with my teenage bullshit. Giving me the chance to learn on my own, which I'm grateful in a sense.. because without it, I wouldn't have grown up as fast. I would've been a spoiled brat for life ;)

….My wife skills have been on point you guys…. ;) HA! But no seriously, I've been a better wife than ever before. I love knowing that I'm loving my man the way he needs to be loved. I feel perfect around him. I love serving him a meal after work. Massaging his back after he dances (and nearly breaks his damn back). Listening to him vent, and giving him advice. This marriage is truly a friendship with benefits lol. But seriously, he is the greatest friend I've ever had. I am so incredibly blessed to have someone who accepts me raw, and loves every speck of me. We have this weird mutual understanding, I can't explain. Laying in the bed with him having pillow talk. Waking up in the middle of the night just to smack his ass to scare him and fall back asleep like I didn't do anything (I'm weird, sorry) (I also put Jonas's boogers on him because I know he hates it mwahaha). Yeah… I'ma bout that life you guys. I have no regrets, he was tailored for me. Made for me. I was made to take care of this man, vice versa. It's so rewarding when you finally get it right. 

I love you guys ! I'm sorry I've been M.I.A. I've been soul searching and living life. Enjoying the good times, and I'm so happy and thankful for this life. I pray for you all! Happiness and love - all of that. If I could hug you I would… but the way my laptop screen is set uppppppp. ;[

BlissWithRis <3

LITTLE GYM ADVENTURES

Yesterday was so much fun you guys !!! We went to the little gym for a birthday party for my husband's uncle's son. He turned one ! Time flies.. The Little Gym was insanely fun for Adrian (Jonas can't quite play yet). He went before when he was one and didn't really like it as much as he did Sunday. He was playing with everything.. I will put a blog up soon, but here's pictures :) After this day, I was truly blessed for family. Domo and I were just admiring our boys.. seeing Adrian so happy literally made me want to flipping cry. That's when I knew motherhood has taken over me completely. Seeing my children happy, no worries, etc - that's what makes ME happy. No matter what, even when they have they're own family one day, I will always do what I can to see them happy. NO MATTER WHAT. I don't care if their old, I want to see them smile.

 I am so thankful for them.. How many people can say, "I'm thankful for my children". ? The fact that Adrian just appreciated the time he had, you could tell he was so grateful. It surprised me how well & friendly he was with the other children also. This boy literally just wants to play, he has such a kind heart/soul. He also had fun showing off his little brother ;)

I'm also thankful for the ladies at The Little Gym. They were so SWEET, and nice. You can tell they love children and really want to help. It's not an easy job and they have so much patience without pressuring the kids. I can not wait to go back !

CAKE POPS! The cake & cake pops were made by Domo's uncles wife. So amazing !! AND GOOD.

tummy time was a success, the ladies were so great with him.

Adrian was literally attached to this woman. He wouldn't leave her side, and wanted her to hold him, etc. 

WHAT'S A PARTY W/O FILIPINO FOOD?! So happy because they had flan there to :)

Don't even get me started on how Adrian was with Spiderman… He loved Spiderman until Spiderman actually came inside…. SMHliterally wouldn't let us put him down.

they all pulled their own string for the piñata.

xoxo

Granny Jammie's

So granny (my husband's grandma) came by today and got the boys some pajamas ! She also bought Adrian some new cars, socks, chips, and a bunch of love. I'm so grateful for her.. it was unexpected and I loved the time I had with her today. I love how she calls to tell me she misses them. How much love she puts into the little things. She's so giving and deserves the world, truly. She gave them both hugs and kisses. I love that woman so much. I can't help but feel so grateful to have someone who loves my boys that much. She even remembered to get Jonas's clothes in 6-9 months :)

I couldn't help but take pictures of them wearing them after their bath. Daddy came home with Chick Fil A (I was to hungry to take a picture, ya girl was starvvvvving). After that we watched Jonas have his tummy time. HE HATES TUMMY TIME. He's so lazy, at this age Adrian was lifting his head up so well. Jonas just gives up. If he's on someones shoulder he can hold it up perfectly, or if someone is holding. After tummy time, we gave the kids a bath together :) I wanted to take pictures of that to.. but I decided to just enjoy the moment. 

My husband with his work pants unbuttoned, vneck showing his yummy muscles, collecting all Adrian's cars to place in the tub, getting Jonas naked and kissing all his rolls.. Almost being covered in water trying to bathe these crazy boys of ours.. Both of them crying when it was time to wash their hair.. hearing Adrian burst out in giggles, and seeing Jonas slowly falling asleep and moving along with the waves Adrian was creating. Drowning our kids in baby lotion.. Kissing them all over again and making them laugh before bed. 

There is no love greater than this. 

Being home with the kids all day can be exhausting, being at work all day can be equally as exhausting. So just having him work as a team with me, with no questions asked - feels so good. I've seen men who come home, ignore their kids, polo their butt on the couch, and chill for the rest of their night. The thing I love about Domo is that he takes care of what needs to be done before relaxing. If I ask for help, he gives it. He washes the dishes after I cook, and if he doesn't get to he tells me he'll do them in the morning (Which I don't mind doing them in the morning, since he leaves so early for work). I love how he will brush Adrian's teeth at our set time for bedtime. He'll help me take care of the kids so that we can have time to ourselves quicker. I am so so so grateful.

xoxo

BODY ISSUES & BAGELS VLOG #3 | BlissWithRis

Don't forget to watch in 1080p for the best quality ! :) (the settings option on the video)

What's a day with us like? Here's what a typical day is like with me and the kids. I tried filming everything but it's kind of difficult with two. I'll have more fun blogs, like when we actually go places and have fun - but this is just a typical day for me. LOVE YOU !