AH! Late as Hell.

Hey My Lovie's !!

Oh my gosh you guys.. have I been neglecting my blog? I've literally been on this Youtube tip, editing & filming that I haven't had time to really write. I'm the type of writer who has to write from inspiration though.. I have to have SOMETHING to write about. I can't just write to write. I hate when I can't find the right words to say.. But how have you guys been? How is life treating you? Seriously, life is crazy as hell.. I realized so much lately and I just want to share it with you guys..

I realized how many good people I have in my life. It's only a handful but I'm perfectly fine with that. The friends I keep around are literally friends I've had since high school. We don't speak much, but I truly appreciate them. I think about all the times we don't speak, but I understand we all have busy lives. I'm so grateful for them though. I'll never forget how they've let me live with them, bought things for my children, took care of me and paid for my food! All that good stuff.. I'm truly thankful for them for still being there for me after all these years. I'm also grateful that I don't have to speak to them every day just to show that we're friends. It's so comforting.

I also am focusing on being a better sister, mother, daughter & wife.

I've been calling my sister frequently just to talk. She doesn't annoy me like in the past. I would hate when she would call me, and growing up I realized how stupid that was. Especially as much as she does for me, it feels good hearing her voice. I love her so much and I love seeing her, she's my best friends basically. 

I am so in love with my kids. I've gotten better with my patience and instead of yelling when I'm upset, or thinking irrationally - I love. I hug when I want to cry. I kiss cheeks when I want to cry. I laugh when I feel overwhelmed. I just love them so much, they are incredible and make me who I am. They've given me a full time job with multiple rewards. A lifetime of unpredictable events. I love serving quality, healthy meals and seeing Adrian clean his plate with a huge smile. Giving Jonas a warm bottle when he wakes up from a nap with puffy eyes and fat cheeks, embracing his warmth. My boys are awesome.. I feel good knowing I put Love before everything. I feel good being their safe place. I feel good when my son calls for me when he's worried, needs something, etc. It feels so good to be "there". To be a dependable mother. Nuturing, caring, there for them no matter what. It feels good to clean a poopie diaper and have a little one laugh at you like, "sorry mom". I am not trading this time, or position for the world. Everything in this world revolves around them. I've done a great job by cutting off people who don't include my kids in their life as well. Don't need my kids around? I don't need you around :)

I've been seeing my Dad more than ever before. It's easier for me to go see him and speak with him about things I've never thought about talking about before. It feels good to be on good terms again. It feels good to know he views me as an adult, not as a child anymore. I respect him for his skills as a Father and a real genuine person in general for dealing with my teenage bullshit. Giving me the chance to learn on my own, which I'm grateful in a sense.. because without it, I wouldn't have grown up as fast. I would've been a spoiled brat for life ;)

….My wife skills have been on point you guys…. ;) HA! But no seriously, I've been a better wife than ever before. I love knowing that I'm loving my man the way he needs to be loved. I feel perfect around him. I love serving him a meal after work. Massaging his back after he dances (and nearly breaks his damn back). Listening to him vent, and giving him advice. This marriage is truly a friendship with benefits lol. But seriously, he is the greatest friend I've ever had. I am so incredibly blessed to have someone who accepts me raw, and loves every speck of me. We have this weird mutual understanding, I can't explain. Laying in the bed with him having pillow talk. Waking up in the middle of the night just to smack his ass to scare him and fall back asleep like I didn't do anything (I'm weird, sorry) (I also put Jonas's boogers on him because I know he hates it mwahaha). Yeah… I'ma bout that life you guys. I have no regrets, he was tailored for me. Made for me. I was made to take care of this man, vice versa. It's so rewarding when you finally get it right. 

I love you guys ! I'm sorry I've been M.I.A. I've been soul searching and living life. Enjoying the good times, and I'm so happy and thankful for this life. I pray for you all! Happiness and love - all of that. If I could hug you I would… but the way my laptop screen is set uppppppp. ;[

BlissWithRis <3