Must Read. At War, With Myself

I have been so consumed with work, planning for the near/far future, keeping up with my little monster and being a wife that I've completely forgot about my own happiness and space. Every day is a routine, every minute on the clock counts (try fixing your hair in 20 seconds, I'm mastering it) and if something goes out of wack or alters your schedule the whole day is automatically ruined - that is where I'm at. Which is so unhealthy! I'm shocked I don't have gray hairs (I'm only 21, thank God). It's so easy for us women to put others and other duties in front of our own feelings and needs. I find myself asking my husband if our son and him ate, and realizing I forgot to eat breakfast or something (my tummy is the best reminder, baby J is fat). I think that where our emotional side kicks in, we feel mentally and physically exhausted, like we have OH SO much on our plates, while our significant other travels care free through life (like how can you not freak out when laundry was suppose to be done a week ago?!). 

Our significant others share the same responsibility as us, yet we have some chip in our brains that piles extra duties on our list of never ending things. THAT'S when it clicked to me. Stress is self made. Yes, life is stressful, but I believe as women - mother's, really - we HAVE to be super moms. We HAVE to know what's going on at all times (plans have to be made 24 hours prior ^__^'). We HAVE to make sure our babies have eaten and brushed their teeth before bed. We HAVE to have control, it's a love hate relationship. We want to relax but we don't want to give up that control we have. While my boys are off running in the park, I'm checking our bags to make sure I brought all the snacks and extra shorts for my son. 

I'm in that boat. I am such a mother, I feel 10 years older than what I really am.

So here's to giving up the reigns. 

Relaxing, toasting with sparkling water in my wine glass to my crazy controlling brain. I really don't have that much on my plate as I think (my husband has to constantly remind me that he's here to help, and as a women I never ask for it because I'm super mom). I want to live while I'm alive , just like that cool colorful quote I posted. I don't want to look back and remember myself trying to control other lives. Everyone needs spontaneity, routines and schedules get old to. Everyone needs to be able to have one day where they throw their beloved planner out the window and just LIVE for that day, instead of thinking future future future every 30 secs (*thinking to self* if I eat this buttery fat roll now.. I will be at risk for diabetes later. No. No, must not eat this one roll). 

LET'S LIVE.

Love, Ris xo